shall i give up on you???

i know u since im young,
i touch u since im young,


i always though that my future is in your hand,
i always though that i only love you.....
but why,

when tragedy happen, i start to lost faith on you
i start to afraid of you, i start to have phobia on you...
i did nothing wrong, u did nothing too....
but the fear that in my heart,in my soul......let me lost faith on you....
but then,

i have choose u to be in my future,
i choose you to be by my side,
but,
every time, i have too be brave to look at you,
every time, i have put away my fear to look at you,
do u know u make me suffer?
do u know u make me cry??

or did i make a mistake??
again,i ask myself....

DO I LOSE TO YOU OR TOO MYSELF???? :(